My Coming Out Story
My name is Lyka (She/They), a non-binary individual, and this is my coming out story. It all began when my sister outed me right after high school. I was watching “The L Word: Generation Q,” a popular series among the queer community. My sister walked in during a particularly intimate scene and questioned why the show was “full of lesbianism.” I tried to dismiss it, claiming I didn’t know the content would be like that. But she wasn’t convinced. She demanded my phone and went through my apps and gallery, eventually finding what she was looking for.
I had never realized my sister was homophobic until that moment. She exploded with anger and violence that I had never experienced before. Despite the eleven-year age difference, I had always respected her as my elder sister and the de facto mother figure in our single-parent household. But that respect didn’t protect me from her wrath. She unleashed a barrage of hurtful words and physical beatings that cut deep into my soul, leaving wounds that still haven’t fully healed.
Family Reactions
My mother learned about my “ungodly acts,” and unsurprisingly, she supported my sister’s actions, believing that the devil needed to be beaten out of me. The mental and emotional torture that followed was excruciating. Sundays became my worst days, as I faced prayers and conversion therapy. I had to deny my true self to survive.
Eventually, I rebelled and chose to attend a different church rather than continue the torment. One day, my mother brought up the LGBTQ+ topic out of the blue. This time, I didn’t deny it. I decided that I would no longer lie about who I was. I wouldn’t confirm it outright, but I wouldn’t deny it either. My mother, who had researched the LGBTQ+ community, would often say, “Lesbians have money, but if you’re caught, where will you start?” Her only fear seemed to be what society would do to me if they found out about my sexuality. It was all about what people would say.
The toxic environment at home became unbearable, and I eventually ran away for over a year. I felt lost in a place that was supposed to be my sanctuary. But what is home if not where the heart is?
It took years for my mother and sister to come to terms with who I am. My sister has since become an ally, though I can still sense her lingering wish that things were different. My mother, on the other hand, would never openly admit to accepting me—it’s just her way, and I’ve come to understand that. Deep down, I believe she doesn’t have an issue with my identity as long as I’ve got my life together. Sometimes, when she’s angry, she’ll ask if I’m still gay, and I choose to stay silent. That silence gives us both a semblance of peace, albeit with an undercurrent of unresolved tension.
The Road Ahead
Coming out to my friends was never an issue. They’ve always known, and many of them are under the same queer umbrella. It’s comforting to know that I’m not alone in this journey.
However, my work environment is a different story. It’s filled with closeted queers who, like me, can’t fully be themselves. It’s sad that we have to hide, but sometimes safety comes first. Sensitizing those around me about LGBTQ+ struggles is challenging, especially when dealing with homophobes who cling to outdated beliefs. Still, I persevere, slowly but surely. This has inspired me to bring activism into the sports world, where I’ve seen firsthand how difficult it can be for women, especially queer women, to navigate their careers.
Coming out requires caution. As much as we may want to paint the town rainbow, we must remember that the world often treats our identity as a losing battle. Yet, with the fast-growing, progressive generation, I’m hopeful for a better tomorrow. I see freedom and change on the horizon. If it’s going to happen, it’s up to us. Change starts with you, and it truly does. We are young, energetic, and through activism in every field we enter, there is so much we can achieve together.
LGBTQ+ struggles and the fight for LGBTQ+ rights are ongoing battles, and each of our stories adds to the collective effort. We must continue to challenge homophobia and create spaces where coming out is met with acceptance rather than fear.