Her Not Him

NOOO!!!NOT TODAY!!!!

Today I will not listen to you

Try put ideas in my head Making me think am sick,a misfit a mistake

Nooo!!!!NOT TODAY!!!!!

Today ,you’ll listen to me

Without fear I boldly say It’s her

It’s always been

And forever will be her Yes I love her

Not him

Yes Iove Jane not gim Am just a girl not girly

Yes just a girl in love Jane not Charly

Yes I love her,Jane You might see it as insane

A taboo you won’t entertain

My blood colorful rainbow flowing in my veins

Am just a girl in love with girls

Am just so gay am not trying to be a guy

They say it’s unnatural Why does it feel opposite?

Why does touching her feel so legitimate?

Kissing her normal and needful..

If you are attracted to men ,their biceps and triceps,their course voice and masculinity,well am not

Like an unstoppable force am drawn to her

I picture her in my arms Her eyes and mine lock Words on my lips I lack Her lips on mine

Our hearts beat with such a rhythm

Ooooooh It’s a feeling I can’t explain

A woman is a goddess ought to be adored

Gone are the days when I felt

Like a black sheep More of a sinking ship

Gone are the days when I fought me

When I hated me Hating how I felt Denying my truth

Wishing it could be different

Wishing I could be different

Wishing they could understand me

All I needed was to understand me

Love me for who I was

Gone are those days I just desire to be free Trapped I want to flee Enslaved want to feel FREE!!! FREE!!!

With no restrictions, Just to embrace my authenticity

And love her freely

Without fear that they’ll kill me

Coz if they do justice won’t be served Why?????I love her and not him

They say it’s just a sin and lust,it wouldn’t last They say it’s rotten it’s rust

They say am a sinner But it’s all love I inhale So be it If I loving her burn’s me in hell

She gives me peace Gathers my broken pieces

Torn between my truth , family, and religion

I badly want her,am craving for her Society says it’s disgusting

Family expects a him

They’ve taken me to church to pray the gay away

Cast homosexuality and baptize me with heterosexuality

They’ve taken me to hospital to “cure my illness”

They’ve taken me to therapy to convert me They’ve taken me to medicine men to heal me claiming “nilirogwa”

This is me

My truth and authenticity Though they judge me harshly

Though they treat me badly

Though they pierce me with their hateful hurtful words

Though they slap me with prejudice

Though they see my authenticity a curse

I won’t put my pen down Piece I crave for

Like pottery I’ll mold my pain to words

I will bleed by the pen until the pain disappears I will bleed and deal with the pain I won’t disappear

I will right,and right ,and right ,till I heal

My therapist poetry is Like a bird with no wings it makes me fly

I can’t hold her hand in public without ugly stares?????

Why does touching her feel so legitimate?

Kissing her normal and needful..

If you are attracted to men ,their biceps and triceps,their course voice and masculinity,well am not

Like an unstoppable force am drawn to her

I picture her in my arms Her eyes and mine lock Words on my lips I lack Her lips on mine

Our hearts beat with such a rhythm

Ooooooh It’s a feeling I can’t explain

A woman is a goddess ought to be adored

Gone are the days when I felt

Like a black sheep More of a sinking ship

Gone are the days when I fought me

When I hated me Hating how I felt Denying my truth

Wishing it could be different

Wishing I could be different

Wishing they could understand me

All I needed was to understand me

Love me for who I was

With no scares l I’ll kiss her,a hold her tight ,make love to her in my poetry

Funny that loving is illegal It’s sad that we have to keep it a secret

Sad that we have to be discreet

Sad that we can’t even hug in the streets

I’ve been told am into girls coz I never had a good dick

Well I’ve tasted it and it’s disgusting

I tried fighting me and tried to love men it was all yack

It just couldn’t work The thought of him

touching me torments me They slap me with homophobia

Reason????am in masculine clothes and not in a tight dress or trouser to massage their ego.

In the end…..love wins And love is love.

Am gay,if you hate me for that it’s ok

But I won’t stop me from being me

You Hating me

You Hating my truth won’t stop me from loving me Embracing my truth








































































Why does touching her feel so legitimate?

 

Kissing her normal
and needful..

If you are attracted to men
,their biceps and triceps,their course voice and masculinity,well am not

 

Like an unstoppable force am drawn to her

I picture her in my arms Her eyes and mine lock Words
on my lips I lack Her lips on mine

Our hearts
beat with such a rhythm

Ooooooh It’s a feeling I can’t explain

A woman is a goddess
ought to be adored

 

Gone are the days when I felt

Like a black sheep More of a sinking
ship

 

Gone are the days when I fought
me

When I hated me Hating how I felt Denying my truth

 

Wishing it could be different

Wishing I could be different

Wishing they could
understand me

All I needed
was to understand me

Love me for who I was

Gone are those days I just desire to be free Trapped I want to flee Enslaved want to feel FREE!!! FREE!!!

With no restrictions, Just to embrace my authenticity

And love her freely

Without fear that they’ll kill me

Coz if they do justice won’t be served Why?????I love her and not him

They say it’s just a sin and lust,it wouldn’t last They say it’s rotten it’s rust

They say am a sinner But it’s all love I inhale So be it If I loving her burn’s me in hell

She gives me peace Gathers my broken pieces

Torn between my truth , family, and religion

I badly want her,am craving for her Society says it’s disgusting

Family expects a him

They’ve taken me to church to pray the gay away.

By @Apondithepoet

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